Parenthood is a minefield of awkward moments. There is always going to be an embarrassing event that creates that awkward silence, and makes you want to disappear into the background.
We take a look at 5 embarrassing classics. Feel free to wince in the corner, or bury your face in a pillow if this hits a bit too close to home.
1. You said it, so I’ll repeat it
Children are sponges. They absorb everything around them. Especially what they hear. Maybe it’s because they’re tiny and can go undetected, like a micro-spies. If you’ve ever accidentally hammered your thumb instead of a nail and had a four year-old around, gleefully repeating your expletives to anyone within earshot, you’ll know our pain. As will anyone in a 3 mile radius.
2. That’s not what you said yesterday
Kids famously tell it like it is. They are also are the worst snitches. Don’t expect to keep your diatribes private, or your gossip to yourself. Kids don’t understand the concept of venting. They don’t mind telling your sister-in-law her pudding tastes like feet. Or informing your neighbours everyone can hear what they’re doing through the walls. Just be ready with your excuses when they decide to tell people what you think.
3. Kings of observation
Children’s observations can be wise and insightful and help you to see things from a simpler perspective. Other times they are as awkward as hell. Especially if they’ve decided to go investigative journalist on a complete stranger. Case- in-point: My nephew once asked an elderly woman on the tube why she had a moustache. The rest of the journey was spent smiling apologetically and desperately trying to get my nephew to stop repeating the question. He was never going to get the answers he wanted. But by golly, he was going to try.
4. Why’d you do that?
Children’s behaviour can be baffling. If you’ve ever had your little one whip their pants off in public, paint their younger sibling, or stagger around telling complete strangers “I’m so drunk.” to your own mortification, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
5. Wrong time, wrong place
Why is it they always seem to catch you in the act? Whether it’s doing something mum told you not to, or worse… There’s nothing a parent dreads more than being caught in flagrante. And any adult who walked in on their parents during ‘intimate time’ will agree: nobody wants to see that.
If you thought any of the above was awkward, you have no idea. And hopefully you never will.