FQ’s resident relationship therapies John Donlon explains how to revive a dead sex life.
The reason for a sexless marriage may not be what you think. You see, as time goes by our spouse becomes more important to us – and as our spouse become more important to us, we become more vulnerable. This in turn, fosters sexual boredom and low sexual desire.
According to David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage, “This is because no one wants to be rejected by their partner. When your partner’s acceptance means more to you than your integrity you only reveal your eroticism in ways that will receive acceptance.”
In other words out of fear of losing our partner’s acceptance, or fear of losing our partner, we limit ourselves. We allow their limitations to control the relationship, which leads to sexual boredom and loss of sexual intimacy.
When this happens, sometimes couples separate. But there is another approach that is far more constructive.
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