Men – It’s Okay to Talk

By registered counsellor and psychotherapist Sharon Hinsull.

Ten years on from its formation, a peer-led charity that was born out of tragedy now leads the national conversation on men’s mental health.

Andy’s Man Club was set up in 2016 and currently has more than 320 groups operating around the UK. The organisation takes its name from Andrew Roberts, a father who died by suicide at the age of just 23. Following on from the tragedy, Andrew’s mother Elaine Roberts and Luke Ambler, Andrew’s brother-in-Law, got together to form a weekly group where men could speak openly about their mental health in a relaxed and non-judgmental environment.

With male suicide being the biggest killer of men under 54, Andy’s Man Club is on a mission to get men talking toprevent other families from experiencing a similarly devastating loss. Through its Monday night talking groups and other regular awareness-raising activities, the organisation is intent on breaking the taboo surrounding men’s mental health, supporting members and their loved ones through times of psychological difficulty or distress.

Groups are now being run on a nationwide basis and are completely free to attend. Since its inception, the men who attend Andy’s Man Club meetings have reported a range of positive impacts on their mental health and wellbeing. By having a safe space in which to talk openly about how they’re feeling without being judged, many attendees have experienced a reduction in stress and worry, a boost to their self-confidence, and by meeting other men in similar situations, they have felt less alone and more a part of a community.

Meetings take place every Monday evening (except bank holidays) and no prior registration or referral is required to attend. Whilst the prospect of joining a men’s talking group might seem a little daunting at first, as Sasha Massam from Andy’s Man Club’s Marketing and Partnership team points out, everyone is in it together.

“Life can get really heavy sometimes, and it’s normal to feel like you’re carrying it all on your own. Andy’s Man Club is a place where men can come together and just talk, no judgment, no pressure, just real conversations with people who get it.

“Even if it feels awkward at first, you’ll often find that simply sharing what’s on your mind can lift a weight off your shoulders. It’s not about fixing everything at once, it’s about knowing you’re not alone and that it’s okay to open up.”

For fathers with young families, having access to a safe and supportive space in which to offload their feelings can often make a real difference for them at home. Many dads find that they become better able to handle stress, meaning that they can be more psychologically present for their kids, creating a calmer and happier home environment. They also report improved levels of communication, giving them the confidence to talk more openly with their partner and family, often becoming more actively involved and engaged as a parent. Also, by looking after their own mental health, dads can lead by example, teaching their children that it’s okay to talk about feelings.

If you find yourself struggling with your mental health this winter, Sasha suggests checking out the nearest Andy’s Man’s Club meeting venue in your area.

“Why not give it a try? Pop along to your local group, if you’re ready, have a chat, and see how it feels. You don’t have to say anything at all, if you’re not ready, but being there counts. You might be surprised at how much better you feel after just one session.”

New Monday night groups are starting up around the country all the time, but in areas where a local meeting isn’t yet running, there is also an online group that men can join.

Further information can be found by visiting the Andy’s Man Club website https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ or by dropping an email to info@andysmanclub.co.uk.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sharon Hinsull is a BACP registered counsellor and psychotherapist. Find out more about Sharon at www.therapy-and-training.co.uk or follow her on Twitter @Therapy_CPD.